Why, they've been working up a big ol' FIVE YEAR PLAN, that's what. It was mentioned here yesterday, and now has been unleashed for all the community to see. And what a heaping pile of poo it is. It's almost like Mr. Floatie washed up on the Chamber's doorstep and died.
Though there are many laughable things contained within it, let's just focus on the BIG PROMISES to give you the general idea. Read these grandiose notions, ponder them, and then consider how much faith you have in them really occurring.
First, let's note that they make a lot of promises that such and such will happen by 2020 - which is actually only four years (plus change) away. Perhaps this is meant to convey confidence on the Chamber's part. Or perhaps they are just very weak at basic math.
In any case, rest assured that by the year 2020, the Port Angeles (Regional) Chamber of Commerce will have helped to create more than 100 new retail establishments to the "area," as well as more than 1,000 new jobs. They also promise to, and I quote, "create value in the community" by designing and launching a "business leadership development program."
There's EVEN MORE to it, but that ought to do for now. Let's take a moment to ponder those ambitious goals.
Now, if there are any doubters out there, let me give you the good word from Luke Robins, Peninsula College president, who said "it is clear the Chamber's plans will be effective." And he's a college man, so it must be true! It is clear that is the case.
Now, for those of you who maybe saying, "Yes, but, we've heard all this before and nothing has ever actually happened and these Chamber goons are a bunch of know-nothing incompetent morons who can never seem to create value or success but sure know how to fall for a good scam," well...I'd say you're being kind of nit-picky.
Comrade Jim Haguewood explains brilliant
Five Year Plan to joyous local proletariats.
Should be "to joyous local polecats."
Apologies for terrible bourgeois mistake!