Now, in a tiny little Clallam County-sized echo, it's been revealed that Doughball Dan Gase is also a "victim." Someone, somewhere online (the place goes unnamed) said some oh so hurtful things about him, and it made Dan's jowls go all a-quiver with fear, so he called the police. Said caustic comments were all aimed at Gase, Cherie Kidd and Pat Downie. (Apparently the commenter didn't have room to include Gase's belly-busting bro Brad Collins, which kept it from being a full Fluoride Four set piece.) Do I need to say that the authorities found less than nothing of concern?
First of all, Sister Gase, online "death" threats are, generally speaking, not worth the paper they're not printed on. It's hot air, like the kind that pours out of you.
Second, well...There is no second. I don't believe for a minute that Doughy Dan believed there was anything to the threats (if they even existed) in the first place. This complaint is just a political ploy, and an attempt to change his public role from that of an arrogant anti-citizen moron to something more sympathetic - like being a "victim."
Dan Gase says NO, it is NOT safe!
So, in the spirit of public free speech, and to celebrate a new holiday I'm just making up on the spot - Elected Motherfucker's Day - I'm inviting you all to share your warmest wishes and best thoughts for what you'd like to tell Dan Gase and his fellow travelers. No death THREATS, please, but feel free to say you wish they were DEAD, or that you know they're brain DEAD. Or maybe you could just point out how DEAD the town is under their uninformed so-called leadership. Maybe you could make the connection between Doughy Dan's cowardice in the face of a few nasty words online and the Council's cowardice when it comes to facing the real issues the City needs to deal with.
Or maybe, taking a cue from the big, important front page story today, you could paint your thoughts on rocks, and leave them around town. "I painted this rock after it fell out of Cherie Kidd's head." You get the idea. Just don't take the rocks to a City Council meeting, though. Signs aren't allowed, and Dan Gase might have you arrested for carrying a weapon.
Painted rocks, Clallam County style...