Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Cherie Kidd Named Outstanding Orator by U.S. Debate Society

Given that anything I post today might be considered suspect...How about if I just ask you all what your ideas are for some April Fools headlines for Port Angeles might be. You know, things like, "PA 'Turd Tank' Identified as Third Most Popular Tourist Draw in Washington State."

Have fun, and have a good day. Just don't believe everything you hear...

32 comments:

  1. McEntire Admits EDC Reorganization Was "Total Hoax"; "I just wanted the money," says County Commissioner.

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  2. CK's ideas just as worthwhile as inventor's immersion suit.

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  3. Edna Petersen Opens Charm School in former Lincoln Theater

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    Replies
    1. Peter Ripley will be her first (classy) student....

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  4. Hedge Fund to Purchase Port Angeles Water Rights
    $150 million deal almost retires city's debt.

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    Replies
    1. Sad thing is I'm expecting this one any day now. Except instead of retiring debt I'm sure they'll find something else to spend it on. "For jobs" of course.

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  5. Karen Rogers and Larry Hueth caught having sex on new fake beach downtown
    "Wanted to be the first to break in the new beach" said Rogers

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    Replies
    1. This of course corrects the earlier report, "Dead Whales Sighted on Port Angeles Beach."

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    2. Great. Another shoreline toxic waste site in Port Angeles.

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  6. Mother-of-Pearl Not Pearl's Mother

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  7. Russ Veneema says, "April Fool" I'm not going anywhere suckers"

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  8. Bill Gates buys Lincoln Theater: "We're moving this gem to Seattle" says Gates.

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  9. Just so long as the word "fete" is included.

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  10. Here's a headline series for you:

    Sinkhole Swallows Downtown Port Angeles

    Governor Denies Disaster Declaration for Port Angeles; Claims Town Has Been a Disaster "For Years"

    Dan Morrison Proposes Sinkhole Sprintboat Races

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  11. Many of the real PDN headlines would be comedy, if you weren't trapped living here. One definition of comedy is that it's tragedy that happens to someone else. Port Angeles proves that to be pretty true.

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  12. Tsunami warning for Port Angeles. Ediz Hook bumper to bumper traffic.

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  13. Peter Ripley discovers his computer has a spell check program. "So that's what all those red underlings mean!"

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    Replies
    1. Red underlings? You mean Communist subversives influencing the City Council?!?

      Peter!!! HELP!!!

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    2. second tier city employees who are communist (Red Underlings)

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  14. Paul Gottlieb Arrested for String of Sex Crimes

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  15. City of Port Angeles Declares Bankruptcy; Audit Finds "Max Mania Was Right About Everything"

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    Replies
    1. The thing he was most right about was getting out. His was a sensible response to an intolerable situation.

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  16. Port Angeles High School Spelling Bee canceled for lack of qualifying candidates.

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    Replies
    1. Ouch! True headline of the future.

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  17. "Oops!" says Mayor "We f**ked everything up!"

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  18. "Cost of CSO Project Grows to $80 Million"

    Oh, wait. That probably WILL be a real headline sometime in the future.

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  19. Jim Jones announced as Esprit keynote speaker, promises "revealing" presentation...

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  20. Here's one I'd like to see: Entire City Council Resigns in Shame

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    Replies
    1. They have no shame, look what they allow.

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